Tabloids: Ready for Justin Bieber’s divorce album?
|Toronto Star 10 Feb 2019 at 08:20|
Cover: Just as well you didn’t get invited to the reception, because the salad shooter you bought for Justin Bieber and Hailey Baldwin woulda gone to waste. He’s been visiting ailing ex Selena Gomez, who has schemefully played the “hospitalized with a reported emotional breakdown” card. Two can play that game, Hailey: Go crazy. Soil self. Take hostages.
This week: a wedding we never saw, a video you might never see, and a book that isn’t out yet.
Fun for one: Unnervingly, several mags this week carry a full-page ad for the PlusOne line of vibrators, and OK! helpfully placed it next to a big picture of Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen, so there’s an hour of your mom’s day all laid out for her.
Cover: Lamar Odom has a memoir coming out and In Touch is sure that it dishes dirt about the Kardashians, specifically his ex-wife Kim. “A chapter on Kim would give readers all the dirty details on how she uses the men in her life,” says a family friend (note the hypothetical tone). Money, plastic surgery, drugs — it all might be in there. Odom’s father was a heroin addict, his mom died when he was 12, he had a baby son who died at 6 months and his whole life has been punctuated by tragedy and heartbreak but never mind that: did Kylie cheat on Tyga?!?
Incoming Fyre: Kendall Jenner’s agency might be subpoena’d to explain her role in the Fyre Festival. Do they think she was supposed to drive in a truck full of cabanas or something?
The hunger: PlusOne ad is opposite a big photo of a guacamole burger. This lunch break is rounding out nicely.
Cover: A video of Brad Pitt drunkenly reeling around an airport tarmac and joyriding in a golf cart might come out in his divorce and it is humiliating and sad and probably the best Brad Pitt movie in six years.
Refreshed: PlusOne ad is opposite a photo of a bottle of hemp-infused water. Yes, you might be thirsty after an afternoon like this.