Vinay Menon: Why Rudy Giuliani is the Andy Kaufman of our time
|Toronto Star 05 Dec 2018 at 12:51|
In these divided times, Rudy Giuliani deserves credit for uniting liberals and conservatives around one point of agreement: he sucks at his job.
Personally, I remain convinced Mr. Giuliani is working for special counsel Robert Mueller. Or he’s a Russian agent. Or a plant by the Deep State. Or maybe, under the guise of serving as one of Donald Trump’s lawyers, Giuliani is secretly filming a Netflix comedy special. He is the funniest man alive right now.
Rudy Giuliani, President Donald Trump’s attorney, uses a smartphone during an event outside the White House in Washington, in May. After Giuliani accidentally tweeted a hyperlink and a prankster took advantage of it the president’s lawyer baselessly accused Twitter of letting someone “invade my text.” (DOUG MILLS / NYT)
Dave Chappelle? Chris Rock? Bill Burr? They’ve got nothing on this guy.
Have you ever seen the physical comedy that is Giuliani attempting to operate a smart phone in public? His face turns into a bowl of mashed potatoes. The corners of his mouth dart up and down like a teeter-totter. His fingers jab at the screen willy-nilly, as if a bewildered voice in his head is shouting: “Touch there! No, touch over there! Swipe left! Swipe right! Swipe your forehead! Do the grimacing smile!”
This is the key to Giuliani’s comedy: pretending not to know how things work.
If this guy had a cooking show, each episode would end with him burning down the set kitchen and then shrugging at the camera, palms up, with that toothy grin. If he were a cop, he’d handcuff himself to his steering wheel during a high-speed takedown. When Giuliani takes a shower, he probably washes his hair by drinking the shampoo and berating the conditioner as being part of a liberal plot.